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5-4-23

 This is my first entry for a long time so it seems my fears of not keeping up with this were justified. However, I am back now and I have learned a lot in the past few months about myself. I've been able to address some feelings of self-loathing I have been dealing with for some time now and can genuinely say I like the person that I am. I have also discovered some more of my obsessive tendencies which make it much more draining for me to deal with my own thoughts. My time here has been difficult but I don't believe I will regret the trip. I can now say I have been to Paris, Switzerland, Vienna, and Prague which means I am going to be even more unbearable at parties from now on. One of the most striking things about Europe is the government seems to actually try to work for its citizens as opposed to back in the the States. There is public transport, healthcare, retirement, sick leave, maternity and paternity leave, and an attitude that the government should benefit the people...
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19/1/2023

 After nearly 2 weeks of being in Germany, I feel like the jet lag has entirely worn off. For about a week or so after arriving in Germany, I would tend to get sleepy at around 6 PM and wake up at 2AM. I still get a little grumpy after 8PM, but my sleep schedule has normalized to an acceptable level. I'm having a some trouble adjusting to being around new people again. For the entire previous semester I spent the vast majority of my time around a group of 7 other people and having to change that has been a bit of a shock to my system. My first impressions of Germany are that it is a beautiful country and the cities are better than anything I've seen back in the states. Classes have only recently started in earnest and it will be interesting to see how they impact my overall enjoyment of the country. 
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Pre-departure

I am writing this post a 2am the day of my departure date to Germany with still a great deal of packing ahead of me, not knowing a lick of German, and without making contact with my host family. Needless to say, I am not as prepared for this trip as I probably ought to be. This is not an uncommon for me; a lack of preparation and organization has been something of a hallmark of my college career to this point. Is it healthy? Not really. Is it effective? Sometimes. Is it fun? In the loosest possible sense of the word, yes. But this case feels different. I've been looking forward to participating in this program since I first heard about it almost a full year ago and in many ways, the prospect of this program kept me motivated enough to finish the fall semester. And yet, after all that anticipation, I remain, sitting in my room, the morning of my flight, writing a last minute blog post surrounded by unpacked luggage. The weird thing for me though, is that I feel most intimidated not ...
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